Saturday, June 19, 2010

the facebook jinx

8:28 am.

facebook status: off to the nambour show - i hope i survive - check back regularly and call 000 if you don't see any movement.

9:00 am.

smiling i pack the bags. make the lunches. stash the sweets. dress the kids. pack the epi pen. i have finally convinced big daddy to go to the local agricultural show. you know the sort. pay on entry for the experience. knee deep cow crap. pushy people. whining whinging children. show bags. ridiculously expensive rides. random entertainment. show bags. show bags. show bags. empty pockets....

big daddy doesn't like the show. he has never wanted to take the family. in one of my spontaneous fun moments. i plead. beg. wimper. the show will be loads of fun. he rolls his eyes. what can he do. 4 kids. and. one crazy wife. all looking at him with beady eyes.

10:30 am

it starts well. the sun is shining. the birds are singing. blue skies ahead. we park. easy. close enough for a short walk to the back gate. the kids are singing. they walk holding hands. oh what a perfect family i am thinking. smiling. smiling to myself that big daddy could be so skeptical. people are looking. seeing my kids. people looking looking. seeing my wonderful. well behaved. fantastic. first class family. this will be a great day.

10:48 am

we get to the animal patting pen. i am excited. goats. pigs. chickens. ducks.....

10:48:52 am

a tap on the shoulder. my kids are standing on bales of hay crying. bawling. howling. bellowing. pigs root around at their feet. ok. just a small glitch. easily fixed. we remove them from the animal pen. so animals aren't their thing. that's ok. we don't do animals. no probs. we walk on towards the stalls. kids have recovered. smiling. all is well. don't you see big daddy. i say. this is great. what were you worried about.

11:00 am

we pass several stalls. we look at the toys. food. fairy floss. hats. bags. stuffety stuff. no money changes hands. we walk. we look. we move on. it would seem that the show is going well. we finally arrive at the show bag stall. we have promised the kids a show bag. but under $10. no more. preferably as cheap as we can find. lijy picks the phantom bag. noobles picks the bunny bag. cj picks.....hang on.....where is cj.......there at the $25 stand. cj wants the blingy bag. no i say. i don't have that much money. she looks at me.....and then something in my cj.....who has autism....snaps.....oh oh

11:01 am

it is the first day of the show. there are lots and lots of laughing. loud. enlivened. electrified. psyched people. but. there is only one high pitched howl. yes. that would be my cj. she starts to scream. cry. hit. smack. kick. flail. fall. bite. scream. bite. lick. kick. yell. oh lord. it seems that the crowd is now standing still. and. watching. looking. people looking. looking. no smile here. she starts to run away. my 11 year old. having an autistic melt down. i bolt after her. grab her. restrain her by the wrists. and. literally drag her. biting. kicking. falling. screaming. yelling. HEEEEEEEEEEELP ME. punching. spitting. pinching. and. we are at the furtherest end of the show from the car.

11.10 am

i am still pulling my hysterical kid through the crowds. head down. looking at the ground. picking her up when she falls. and. every now and then. as the gasping gawkers look on. i yell. AUTISM. randomly. and i try to walk faster. oh lord. who's idea was it to come to the show. why on earth did we park at the back gate. i look back. and. i see big daddy dragging two crying kids. and. pushing boofa in the pram. a woman covers her kid's eyes. don't look she says. there is something wrong with that girl. this is where i would be happy for the earth to crack open. and. alien life forms to crawl out and swallow me whole.

11:12 am

we make it to the car. i check over my shoulder. waiting. for the police. security. some one. surely some one has called 000......we lock the doors. and. drive home. silently.......

lesson learned: 1. maybe occasionally big daddy is right. 2. the show stinks in more than just a cow crap kind of way. and. 3. don't jinx yourself with a lightly amusing morning status update on facebook.

oh. nearly forgot.

4. just laugh........